Today I took the men of my chamber choir to an event at San Jose State called Real Men Sing.It was an awesome event where they got to sing with 400 other men in a rehearsal and performance. It posed some interesting questions for me that I would love to hear comments on.
The clinician/conductor was Dan Earl from Santa Rosa High School. This is a great conductor and wonderful man. He is very vulnerable to the music and to teaching. He cried three times throughout this clinic because he was moved by the music, but also of what he was doing. Mr. Earl realizes that he has touched the lives of many musicians at this clinic.
Watching this male conductor cry was moving to me. It inspired me to be more vulnerable to the music. Watching my kids watch him cry was quite an experience as well. At least two of them looked like they were moved and rather than just being in the moment, they turned to their electronic devices to tune him out. Some of you might say that they were just bored and if you asked them, they would say they were bored. But I know that deep down inside, they were afraid of this vulnerability. Teaching Asian students, I have found that they will do anything not to become emotional. Probably because their dad beat them every time they cried when they were little. I know my dad did. I cried a lot when I was young and I wasn't afraid to let the tears go in front of people either. But lately, I have grown immune to it. I don't let myself cry. I hold it in. I was taught at a very young age that it is not manly to do this. I could never see myself conducting a men's choir of high school and college aged men and crying.
So I ask you, is it appropriate for a man to cry when he is moved by music? Or is that a pussy thing to do? Is it appropriate for me to cry as a conductor or would I lose power and respect? Is this gay? What does it say about you to say that its not okay? Are you afraid of being vulnerable to music? If you are woman reading this, what do you think? Should I be crying more? Should my male students be comfortable with this?
Being in Dan Earl's choirs in high school was eye opening for me. I transferred from a music program where there were only 4 men (a gangster ridden school) to Santa Rosa High where all of a sudden I was surrounded by musicians nonstop. Life changing to say the least. Dan mentioned to me that he was doing this and I couldn't think of a more perfect person. Through him I learned to submit my emotions to art. When he was teaching high school, at the end of every year there was a "Chamber Farewell" concert where the graduating Chamber singers would sing with him for the last time. Inevitably, every person would end up crying and in many cases weeping by the end of the performance. We used to tease him for all the crying he would do in rehearsals and performances but really we were all learning that emotion in art is really meant to be there. You shouldn't have to force it. Dan obviously doesn't have to...lol. Glad you and your kids got to work with him.
ReplyDeleteYou can cry all you want! In fact, yes you should cry mores. <3
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